Friday, February 6, 2009

Chicken Little Retold

Chicken Little
Retold by Kacey (as experienced in Feb 2009)

One day Chicken Little was walking in the country when — KERPLUNK — the housing market took a tumble
"Oh my goodness!" said Chicken Little. "The sky is falling! I must go and tell the President."
On her way to the White House, Chicken Little met Nanci Pelosi. Nanci Pelosi said that she was going into the country to give free abortions to all poor people because their children are a burden on the economy

"Oh no, don't go!" said Chicken Little. "I was there and the houses are crashing on peoples heads! Come with me to tell the President."
So Nancy Pelosi joined Chicken Little and they went along and went along as fast as they could.
Soon they met Harry Reid, who said, "I'm going to the woods to end all oppositional thought."

"Oh no, don't go!" said Henny Penny. "The houses are falling everywhere and it’s Capitalisms fault! Come with us to tell the President!"
So Harry Reid joined Nancy Pelosi and Chicken Little, and they went along and went along as fast as they could.

Soon they met Timothy Geithner, who was planning to go to the country to use their meager tax programs and then blame them for tax evasion.
"Oh no, don't go!" said Harry Reid. "The sky is falling there! The average constituent is losing their house, business & livelihood and they pay their taxes!" So Nancy Pelosi joined Hary Reid, Timothy Geithner and Chicken Little, went along as fast as they could.

Then who should appear on the path but dangerous sly evil thinking constituents.
"Where are you going, my fine feathered friends?" asked the constituents. They spoke as if they had a forum, so as to be heard.
"The sky is falling!" cried Chicken Little. "We must take all of your money and tell the President."
"We will vote you out of office," said he evil constituents sweetly. "If you don’t let us voice our opposition."
But the wicked constituents did not just voice opposition, they started pointing out earmarks, kickbacks, and pork.They actually tried to read the bill!

Just as Chicken Little and the others were about to be transparent, they heard a strange sound and stopped.

It was the President’s hunting dogs (named Acorn), growling and howling.
Your votes don’t count. You don’t count. We determine elections! The constituents ran to their secretary of state, but alas with the hounds close behind…..

After that day, Chicken Little always carried food stamps with her when she walked in the country. Food stamps were a present from the President to compensate her tax increases. And if — KERPLUNK — free markets fell, Chicken Little didn't mind a bit. In fact, she didn't notice it at all.
The End